Donny, unfortunately, cannot be with us tonight because he is on location. Even more unfortunately, it may be for... the Pyramid Game. Has everyone heard of the... Pyramid Game?
(Donny, if you're listening - don't do it! Big mistake!!)
Now, despite Donny's obvious talents he has got it into his head that it is the "chic" thing to do, that game shows are not as tacky as they were and that they are very popular. Well, over here DIY and gardening programmes are even more popular. So, Donny, how about "Home Improvement With Dorky Corky", or "Donny -It-Yourself"? After all we all know, thanks to the cover of Rolling Stone that he looks great in a tee shirt and has a tool belt to die for!
And, if he digs out the Joseph wig and a couple of suits from the original Donny and Marie Shows he could be America's answer to Laurence Llewellwyn Bowen!
But we'll forgive him, because we love him, and after all that's said and done he's one... out of seven!
You see, I love all the Osmonds - they are all equal in my eyes. It's just Donny is more equal than the others! I suppose that makes me a Donny addict. My definition of a Donny addict, well...
You hunger for his touch, a long, lonely time.
You'd love to taste his lips, so fine, any time, night or day.
But the only trouble is, gee whiz, you're dreaming your life away!
But, in my life as a stalker, I've been shot at twice. No, it's true! Not by Donny - well, I don't think it was Donny. Anyway, I've stood outside so many hotels that they've given me a uniform! The tips are good, though.
You know, my friends and I often get together for some group therapy. A bit like today, en masse, and we talk about our dreams and fantasies. You know, what we would like to do with Donny. (There are kids here - keep it clean!)
And someone will say, "Oh, I'd love to meet him!" ...Done that.
"Oh, I'd love to have my picture taken with him!" ...Done that.
"I'd love to get his autograph!" ... Done that.
"Man, I'd just love to share a romantic candle-lit dinner with him!"
...Done that!
Well, to be completely truthful he was having the candlelit dinner. I was outside with my nose pressed up against the glass... well, I was until the police took me away...but the restraining order should be lifted by the end of November. Hurrah!
Hi everyone and welcome to
An Evening Without Donny Osmond!
Like many of you I wear my ETTE ring with pride. It's very special - created by Doug for his father, Alan, who is 'living with MS' and it stands for Endure To The End.
Well, that's for Osmonds... for us fans it means Eat to the End!
Now, we know the family offers a lot of merchandise - books, calendars, jam, cookie mix, etc., but what I really want is a diet book by the Osmond wives! How do they do it? All those children. All those home cooked meals we know the brothers love so much, and they NEVER put on an ounce! Now, that I would buy.
Anyway, my co-organiser for this event, Karen, who, if you didn't notice her earlier is a "stick", called me the other day saying "Oh, Susan I am so stressed out organising this event, I can't eat! I'm losing pounds and pounds! You must be the same."
Now that is a skinny person talking. I tried to explain to her that stress has the opposite effect on me so she told me not to keep unhealthy things in the house. Only keep the salads and fruit and then when I want to snack I can only eat good things. She's obviously never heard of deep fried grapes!
But in an attempt to lose a bit before today I've been snacking on those 'Go Ahead' Caramel Shortcakes - you know, the ones that are 85% fat free. Of course that means they are 15% fat, but what the hey!
But it got me thinking that if we described ourselves like that we'd all be a bit more positive about ourselves. Instead being fat I am 85% fat free! Okay, so you can only see the 15% but that's just superficial! And if you think of Kate Moss as the low fat version she doesn't sound quite so appealing, whereas I am the "deluxe" version!
Not that I have an issue with being fat. I never see myself that way, especially when I am flirting with Donny. No, I think that what he sees is a diminutive Liz Hurley ...when in fact what he actually sees is
Ursula the Sea Witch!
Anyway that was a bit "Off Topic". Donny is asking for suggestions for clips to put into a new DVD of the original Donny and Marie shows. Well, I don't think he can edit it the way I remember them ...with a large piece of cardboard covering up the side of the screen where Marie stood!
And before I go, ever wondered how many
Osmonds it takes to change a light bulb?
None, with smiles that bright they don't need lamps to begin with!
